The honeymoon, the question and the list

Ah yes, the first day of school. Today could not be more perfect if I had designed it myself. I absolutely love middle schoolers. The girls are bigger than the boys, some boys are tiny with deep voices while others tower over the others but sound like they're doing impressions of their female counterparts. Regardless of how they look, people at this age have absolutely not concept of space and where they reside inside of it, which often has hilarious results. Looking more like a fawn navigating its first uncertain steps as it uses its newly acquired legs than anything else, they clumsily spill their drinks, bump into each other and drop all of their books in an attempt to look like they have it more together than their classmates. There’s nothing I can do but laugh with them and help them pick up the pieces. “I can remember my first days of school,” I often found myself telling them, “and it gets better, I promise”. One of my favorite catchphrases I used today was, “Now you might want to be careful when you get close to me because I am a very sharp dresser and you might cut yourselves”. It was humorous enough to get a laugh out of the class but just corny enough to be a teacher joke. Perfect.

Many of the teachers were happy (and shockingly surprised) that all of the kids were so kind and obedient today – but not me. I know it’s still the honeymoon stage and they will only start to test the limits of a new teacher after a week or so, after they get a chance to push the limit as much as they can to see what will happen. If things haven’t changed in this respect since when I went to middle school (which I doubt they have), then all the students will inevitably talk with their friends about their teachers. They will determine who they think is easy, hard, attractive, a pushover, etc. Moreover, as I’m now learning, it’s the exact same thing that teachers do about students. So works the circle of life.

As we were doing an icebreaker today I asked my students who they thought was the greatest President of the United States (not to be political, but just for the record, none said Bush). Most said George Washington. When I asked why, the most popular response was, “because he was the first one”. I didn’t really understand how being first makes you the best, but I figured I wouldn’t push the issue. My favorite response came from a student that reminded me more of myself than I would like to admit. “And who is your favorite President?” I asked. “Obama,” he responded. It was the hardest I had laughed all day.

There are certain things that I have to discuss with my cooperating teacher in order to understand where she is coming from. In order to have a constructive conversation with her, I figured I would make a (quick) list of how I feel about a couple of those things.

1. Classroom Management – I’m always friendly with the students but I am not their friend. Test me and I will lay the smack down if necessary.
2. Student Motivation – I agree with Kohn. Most students today don’t need more motivation, just a different kind. You shouldn’t have to bribe or punish a student into wanting to learn (read: positive/negative reinforcement). Intrinsic motivation should be the order of the day.
3. Grades – Get rid of ‘em. Assessment should be frequent, individualized and non-competitive.
4. Homework – An important part of learning. It should be as constructive as possible and should never just be busywork.
5. Standardized Tests – They don’t test anything particularly constructive except a student's ability to take a standardized test.